曾铮文集
[主页]->[独立中文笔会]->[曾铮文集]->[An Ordinary, But Extremely Extraordinary, Chinese-Style Mother]
曾铮文集
·有信仰與無信仰生命之區別——那個撕心裂肺的下午
·女兒語錄(7)Quote of My Daughter(7)
·女兒語錄(7)Quote of My Daughter(7)
·女兒語錄(7)Quote of My Daughter(7)
·女兒語錄(8)Quote of My Daughter(8)
·女兒語錄(8)Quote of My Daughter(8)
·女兒(毛衣)語錄(9)Quote of My Daughter(’s Sweater) (9)
·女兒(毛衣)語錄(9)Quote of My Daughter(’s Sweater) (9)
·當唐僧遭遇媒體……What Happens When You Fight Fake News?
·感悟神韻(之七):感悟神韻的觀衆反饋
·女兒語錄(10)Quote of My Daughter(10)
·女兒語錄(11)Quote of My Daughter(11)
·女兒語錄(12)Quote of My Daughter(12)
·女兒語錄(13)Quote of My Daughter(13)
·女兒語錄(14)Quote of My Daughter(14)
·女兒語錄(15)Quote of My Daughter(15)
·女兒語錄(16)Quote of My Daughter(16)
·感悟神韻(之八):神韻喚醒生命記憶
·感悟神韻(之九):感悟神韻的慈悲預警與開示(完結篇)
·女兒語錄(17)Quote of My Daughter(17)
·評川普缺席白宮記者晚宴
·川普首場國會演說中的掌聲
·舊文不舊:中共的字典里沒有「南韓」
·「不說話的右派」
·重溫童話
·最寶貴的建議與最難堪的問題 ——兼評北京新款抑制「不要臉」機器
·李克強訪澳 中領館僱人歡迎一天一百-Australian Chinese Offered $100 to W
·我是怎樣爲《靜水流深》找到英文出版社的?How Did I Find an English Lang
·曾錚學英文心得:必殺技只兩招
·曾錚演示法輪功第五套功法-神通加持法
·真材實料的造假
·曾錚學英文心得之二:方法、苦功及收穫
·女兒語錄(19)Quote of My Daughter(19)
·髒與淨的相對論 & 我是如何做到百毒不侵的?
·【十六年前的今天 】「信師信法」
·歡迎習主席有錢拿 Payment Promised for Crowd who Welcome Xi Jinping
·【曾錚快評】通知=統治?Notifying=Ruling?
·女兒語錄(20)Quote of My Daughter(20)
·十七年來的「糊塗帳」”Mysterious” Arrest
·一封差點讓我丟命的信
·正向思維又一例證
·憑什麼老是少數人挺身而出?
·曾錚的圖片故事(10)Jennifer’s Photo Stories (10)
·讀史筆記:重讀歷史之必要·帝王之言之行·鄉愁
·【對話網友】關於寫作與演講技巧
·評《三生三世十里桃花》
·評《三生三世十里桃花》续
·「繞樑三月」的美食經歷——在紐約
·Taking on the Chinese Authorities
·「三百六十行 行行出狀元」“Every Trade Has Its Master”
·Witnessing History: one woman’s fight for freedom and Falun Gong
·與《靜水流深》之恩人的聚會
·An Ordinary, But Extremely Extraordinary, Chinese-Style Mother
·Witnessing History Should be Mandator Reading
·一份被香港媒體封殺的採訪
·惡之火與善之心
·曾錚的圖片故事(11)Jennifer’s Photo Stories (11)
·莊稼地裏的「祕密通道」Banned Books Mean Everything
·My Thoughts on Yang Shuping’s “Fresh Air” Speech at the University
·楊舒平「新鮮空氣」引發的「血案」與兩名北大外教的故事
·我也看見過UFO飛碟 I’ve also Seen a UFO
· 我看「巴黎協定」
· A Better Way to "Re-enter" Paris Accord
·【Mini Novel】 A Red Hairpin【微小說】 紅色的髮夾
·Quote of My Daughter ( 1)
·評熱門新片《神力女超人(Wonder Woman)》
·Why Do We Need a “Wonder Woman” Today?
·【讀史筆記之二】未讀史實 先樹史觀
·【讀史筆記之三】「文化」正解
·【讀史筆記之四】「中國」「新」知與走向未來
·【讀史筆記之六】神話即歷史&人、地球與宇宙
·曾錚的圖片故事(16)Jennifer’s Photo Stories (16)
·The Story of My Father
·【讀史筆記之七】造人的傳說與人真正生命的來源
·【讀史筆記之八】「三皇開文明」及神傳文化
·曾錚的圖片故事(17)
·【讀史筆記之九】人類所經歷兩個截然不同的過程
·Jennifer’s Photo Stories (18)曾錚的圖片故事(18)
·【讀史筆記之十】我之易學「研究」誤區:離道越遠越難很回返
·一道簡單而可怕的數學題
·【讀史筆記之十一】中醫的奧祕與實
·二十年前的今天
·【讀史筆記之十二】跳出局部看整體
·【讀史筆記之十三】巨细庞大的工程
·【讀史筆記之十四】德化天下與找尋真相
·Another Date to Celebrate! Plus Three "Trivial" Things That Really Sho
·在黑暗無望的濁世中 看見希望的金光
·曾錚的圖片故事(19)兔子與毛衣- 兔子與毛衣
·和《好兄弟,我哭了!》
· 讓人打寒顫的通知Chilling Notification
·三篇互相矛盾的报导詮釋何爲「厚顏無恥」
·A State of Torture
·Charles Hugo's Laughters
·虞超的笑聲
·兩張表情迥異的臉
·十六歲時的傷感
·三十歲的新生命
·Is Reunification of South and North Korea an Option for the Chinese Co
·與美國人做「生意」 Doing "Business" with Americans
·Jennifer's Photo Stories (25) 曾錚的圖片故事(25)
·愚蠢的我 令人神經錯亂的科技 Stupid Me & Terrifying Technology
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An Ordinary, But Extremely Extraordinary, Chinese-Style Mother

I once hated my mother when I was a child.
   
   No matter how well I behaved, and how many awards I won in school, she seemed never to care about my accomplishments or to appreciate me. Sometimes I even wondered: Would she feel upset if I died?
   
   When it was finally the time for me to leave home for university, I felt very happy. I had chosen a school thousands of miles away.

   
   I fell in love at the university. When my relationship with my boyfriend developed further, it seemed that there was nothing that I could hide from him. He was very surprised when he found out my “extreme” mindset towards my mother, while I felt very upset that he wouldn’t side with me.
   
   However, the broad-mindedness of my boyfriend gradually melted the resentment in my heart, as he always tried to convince me that there were no parents in the world who didn’t love their children.
   
   A Parents’ Sacrifices
   
   Later on, we married and had a lovely daughter of our own. I started to remember much of my mother’s chatter, which had been annoying to me when I was a child, such as: “One will never understand her parents’ sacrifices until she becomes a parent herself,” or “No matter how far away a child travels, she is always on her mother’s mind,” and so on.
   
   Once my daughter suffered from pneumonia and high fever, and I felt as though a huge stone was pressed down right on my heart. I almost couldn’t breathe. I rushed her to the hospital in the middle of night.
   
   Then I suddenly remembered a story that my mother had told me before. My mother had to work in a remote mountain area, where medical conditions were extremely poor. When I was one-year-old, one day I suddenly had measles and a very high fever. My mother was really scared. She held me in her arms and walked over dozens of miles of mountain trails in the darkness until she arrived in the city before dawn to seek treatment.
   
   With the growth of my daughter, the meaning behind the sentence, “One will never understand her parents’ sacrifices until she becomes a parent herself” became clearer and more tangible for me. One day I suddenly realized that the reason my mother had been very stern and strict with me was that she didn’t want me to feel too good about myself and become too arrogant, as I had been receiving too many compliments from everywhere.
   
   Regretfully, when I realized this, I was already living thousands of miles away from my mother and had very little chance to give delight to my parents.
   
   Great Motherly Love
   
   However, it was not until I was released from the Beijing Female Labor Camp after having been detained for one year for practicing Falun Gong did I really understand how great motherly love could be.
   
   Jennifer meditating in 1998 in a park in Shenzhen City, China. (courtesy Jennifer Zeng)
   Jennifer Zeng practicing the Falun Gong meditation in 1998 in a park in Shenzhen City, China. (courtesy Jennifer Zeng)
   When I secretly went back to my hometown to visit my parents shortly after I was released, I learned that when I was imprisoned, my sister had also been fired and detained for practicing Falun Gong. Then she was driven into hiding as she was on the national wanted list.
   
   I couldn’t imagine how huge a blow this must have been to my mother, who had always felt so proud of her three daughters. In the special environment in China, where everybody was brainwashed by the Communist regime, and where family members of Falun Gong practitioners could also be persecuted, many people had chosen to side with the powerful and give pressure to their family members who practiced Falun Gong.
   
   Until that time, no one knew how great my mother was. She didn’t complain; she didn’t blame any of us; nor did she even show to anyone her fear or alarm.
   
   When my sister, who was hiding and working in a small bar in another city almost 100 miles away, contacted my mother, she immediately took a long distant bus to go to that city to visit my sister. After finding out that my sister didn’t have a room of her own, had to sleep on the floor in the bar after all the customers left in the middle night, and didn’t even have any place to store any changes of clothes, my mother decided to act as a regular “transporter” for my sister. My mother would travel every several days between two cities by bus bringing clean clothes to my sister, and bringing back the dirty ones to wash for her.
   
   In order not to have the informers living just downstairs discover her whereabouts, my mother always managed to finish her trip in the same day, and bring as little luggage as possible so that nobody would guess that she would travel to another city. She had to travel back and forth for about 190 miles in the same day.
   
   Apart from taking the long-distance bus, she also had to transfer local buses several times in both cities. Most importantly, she had to be very careful not to be discovered or followed by the police. Otherwise my sister could be exposed to immediate danger. Who would imagine that a retired old woman in her sixties could act so swiftly and smartly and outwit the professional spies and informers?
   
   Arrested
   
   When I went back home after being released from the labor camp, my mother and sister had been “living” in this kind of condition for months.
   
   Jennifer with her mother in early 1999, in the last photo Jennifer took with her family before the persecution of Falun Gong began. (Courtesy of Jennifer Zeng)
   Jennifer Zeng with her mother in early 1999, in the last photo Jennifer took with her family before the persecution of Falun Gong began. (Courtesy of Jennifer Zeng)
   I decided to help my sister to find a safer and better place to hide. However, when everything was done and arranged, and when I boarded the train as planned to meet my sister, she was not there.
   
   Not knowing what to do, I had to get off the train at the next station some 37 miles away and then took a taxi back to my parents’ home. Not knowing what had happened to my sister, how could I just leave?
   
   It was already early morning when I arrived. As soon as I entered, I saw a lot of luggage scattered on the floor; and my messy-haired mother was trying to sort things out.
   
   Upon seeing me returning, she said with a blank face, “Your sister was arrested yesterday. These are all from her luggage which your brother-in-law just took back from the detention center; and here is the receipt of the items confiscated by the police.”
   
   My father suddenly pushed me out of the door, and shouted, “Go! Go away! Don’t stand here and wait until the police find out who was going to travel with your sister!”
   
   I stood there, dumbfounded. I looked at my mother’s face; and suddenly found that she looked so much older after just one year’s separation. Much of her hair had turned grey. And her eyes were hollow and very dry, as if, after having seen too much ugliness in her life, nothing could ever make her cry again.
   
   I clenched my teeth and then turned around and quickly walked away. Not being safe myself, I was unable to help my sister anymore. However, I knew that mother would continue to help her. Mother would go to the detention center to visit her, and bring her basic necessities she would need there.
   
   
   Embrace and Protection
   
   The motherly love, the unconditional motherly love, which never imposed any judgments, and which rose up far beyond all the political theaters of the absurd, would forever support and accompany my sister, and forever support and accompany me as well.
   
   Later on I managed to escape China and lived overseas. For more than a decade, I have never been able to go back, as the persecution has still been going on. My mother flew alone across the ocean twice to visit me.
   
   When my friends asked her to stay with me and not go back again, she always gently shook her head, and I knew why. My father was too old and his health didn’t allow him to travel by plane to visit me. How could mother stay and leave my father alone in China?
   
   The last time when I sent off my mother at the airport, when we had to say farewell to each other in front of customs, I saw that the eyes of my mother, my always very tough mother, suddenly turned red. She abruptly turned around and quickly walked away, so that I would not see her tears falling.

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