My forty years struggle for freedom and justice III
My forty years struggle for freedom and justice III
By Thomas GT Guo
Chapter III Disaster falling from sky
3.1 The virtue for fortune is constraint, while the righteousness for catastrophe is persistence. Calamity often become the excuse of those weaker in mind to surrender their fate good reason, while cataclysm always turn into a good chance for those stronger in will to struggle their destiny.Many people have a common life which like black water too smooth to boring. Some met lots of difficulties on their way, experienced much troubles. Still more after misfortune one from another, lost their characters, wither their will to fight, eventually obey the fate control go up and down with the river wave, lost their personality. Only those who no matter face whatever thorny, arduous,tough situation, never give up but persistent struggle to the end, might ship the fate- vessel, Over the rapids and dangerous, finally reach the ideal aim.
3.2 Career and love are two pillar for one's life. some success in career but fail in love, while others win the love but do not have glorious career. Few luckiest are those who win the sweet love while success in career. As Hunglia poet Bai Tophi said that: Life is value,love has much more valuable. Either ancient and today, or china and foreign, there are numberless heroes for love, even do not afraid of Fire and boiled water,to fight to death. There are many touch heart and soul's love poems, reflect mankind's desire for sweet love. However, because chasing true affection and love, few not only abandoned by one's lover, but betrayed and put into despair situation. Unfortunately,I become such a seldom victim.
3.3 From characteristics perspective, I am an honest,integrity, self-confident, persistent,resolute, determined man, while easily trust other, also has a little Vanity. My mom always taught me that listening Mao's words, to be a diligent, honesty good boy.When I was a kid our text books essays such "the wolf is coming", "from iron to needle", "Kongrong let young brother to have big pear", and several decade long-distance running training,all have help build up my characteristics.
3.4 From my inner mind, I am a passionate, tough outside, tender inside, full of emotional feeling's man. On the one way, full of emotional feeling, remain every help and grace in deep heart and always trying to find chance return others favor, on the other hand, do not fear of any powerful guy nor scare any authority, only obey the truth. No matter how hard the situation, no matter facing whoever pressure, never lower down my proud head. In essence, I am a idealist, pursuing the truth, compassionate, and love, because I believe the nature of the universal is the love. I never remember hate, nor try to revenge, even if to those who had persecuted or betray me, I always forgive them. My imagin for love is idealism, might be it dooms me have to play the tragedy role in my love life.
3.5 To career I always have a struggle spirits which is never give up and fight to the end, thus always can overcome barriers go through and capture fortress. but to chasing love I lacking necessary patient,Dedication,and persistence, too much self-respected and Vanity, caused me met one fail after another. The "mental out of mind" accident, utterly destroy my reputation in front of public, in my former girl-friends eyes, I become four grade disable. Anyway, I always have a strong faith that I am innocent, not only I will stand up again to success in my career, but also can find that heart which can trust me and understand my mind.
3.6 In the early July 1986, through a professional magazine, I make made a friend with a girl in Tangshan, Hebei, and named her Furong, simble a lotus flower from dirty soil with pure quality, for I wish she will like the lotus flower has the elegant quality of her soul. Furong is a eye's surgery doctor with strong sense of responsibility, her physiognomy is very attractive, quite pretty with a pair big shinning eyes full of energy, a small but shape nose, a sexy lip with a rose face. She was twenty-eight years old young girl,full of fire passion, just like a rose ready to burst for her lover. I was 28 year old young trial lawyer, with a strong body, healthy mind, smart brain, and swimmer's figure. At the first glance at her, like electrified the fire in both of us bruning out of control, during four months I sent her more hundred love letter, in order to write funny, interesting,and attractive, and elegant letter, I had read more than 50 Vol love poem!
3.7 Soon both of us fall in love crazily, to read her love letter and wrote love letter to her become my most joyful enjoyment. Taken advantage of dealing cases, I went to see her at Tangshan twice, and lived at her apartment, deeply fall in love, forget who I am and where I am. Both of us feel we met a little to later, waste a lots of invaluable time, otherwise we would have enjoyed our sweetest love more. Just like the dry wood meet fire, inevitably between Furong and me have making love as if the end of the world in coming. So We start to discuss our marriage, I wish she move to Fuzhou for my career as foreign lawyer, only in Fuzhou has promise future. She told me the she will to follow me to the end of sky and the corner of the sea.
3.8 Before marry, I decide to tell her all my history without remain any secret, for I hold a principle of absolute honesty to my lover one. On 10 January 1987 evening, I try my best to explain to her what I have thought about philosophy, jurisprudence, and legal theory, and compare with the principles of natural science, such as mathematics, physical and chemical science, with social science, and analyze to obtain the shocking conclusion which totally different with the official opinion, finally I told her my discovered a formula of mathematics, and asked her to certified its correction. It seems I successfully convincing her that I am a sort of genius, then I told her frankly that because of my independent thought and dissident political thought, I was treated as a"Mental patient" by the party secretary in the university. She told me that she complete understood me and said I was a genius, which move me almost to tears, for I thought finally I found my sweetheart.
3.9 However,two months later, the situation turn to sour, at beginning, she love letters become fewer, then on 10 May 1987, she sent me a letter asked for broken our relationship, which I disagree; because trusted her completely, I replied her with a long letter, point out that we could not able to resolve the problem to live together, the main reason is that the human resource system is backforward, and so called" people's democratic dictatorship", in essence is that fake democracy, real dictatorship. in the letter I told her that I was born to be somebody to do great cause, with a purpose to convincing her to believe I am well deserved her love, and will not made her disappointment, did my last effort to maintain the losing love, but she sent me the last letter announce that if I disagree with her, she would not wrote me forever, which made me no choose but accept her unreasonable demand friendly to finish our love relationship.
3.10 The Pain of lost love did not feel good, I understood the root is that made me humiliating accident of "mental patient ", at meantime, I learn that Amoi University turn me down, the excuse is that I did not have a master of law degree neither I had Intermediate title. That led me decide retake entry exams for my Master of law degree, and I success pass the exams for LLM of International Maritime law, my tutor is Professor Zhu Zengjie, a prominent scholar as well a practitioner in admiralty and shipping. I thought I can realise my dream of being a scholar now, however, I never expect that an even big Political Storm, push me from my career summit into a deep abyss which disappoint me so much that I hardly could bear again!